Hi
Hang in there. I've been doing the same thing. I don't know the answer but I'm sure someone will get in touch and have some helpful advice soon. It's very easy to end up doing this as it's quick and reliable and you know you'll be back in bed and asleep within a few mins so it's hard to move on to anything else when you know your lo won't like it and you are worried it might not work . I've been tryng to gradually cut m's night feeds down and with Wendy's support I'm optomistic that I will get there fairly soon. What I found most difficult was timing myself. We finally found a solution which involves my hubby waiting outside her bedroom with his watch and he opens the door a little bit to signal to me that the time is up. We've been cutting back by 30 secs a night. It means he has to get up to but he feels it's working and worth the effort. Initally she cried for about 5 mins but now she protests and cries bitterly for about a min but then settles down.

Good luck

reply by sleepy5187 - 5 weeks ago

It is very difficult, but you need to stop feeding her and adopt a setttling technique consistently. You can do a split feed at bedtime which will help to get her down awake - do the majority of the breast feed before her bath and then give her a quick top up before she goes down. Make getting her down awake tonight your first goal and then post in the morning with what happens. We can then take it from there.

reply by Mentor-Wendy - 5 weeks ago

Thank you Wendy, last night was challenging and I hope I can make tonight a bit better. She took 2 hours to settle yesterday (going down at 9pm) and then woke at 12-1 (breastfed) and 3.30 she was awake until 5.30 when I eventually fed her again. Today she has only slept for 30 mins all day which is the worse it's ever been and she hasn't taken much milk just now in her feed before her bath. I am so exhausted. I will keep trying.

reply by onthevergemummy - 5 weeks ago

Hi, Well went with controlled crying technique from the book in order to settle Yasmin to sleep awake in her cot and it was heartbreaking for the hour that it lasted but then Yasmin slept from 8.30pm until 4.40am this morning (just confirms that she doesn't need those feeds)- a real achievement! We tried to get her to settle again this morning using the same technique but at 5am I got up with her and started the day- my husband and I have decided that we will try to extend the waking up gradually each day until we reach 6am (do you agree?) but right now I'm so incredibly grateful for the break and the sleep. I will be doing the technique again tonight.
I have a question though on Sunday we will be out and coming home after she is ready for bed - she will probably fall asleep in the car - normally when this happens she takes ages to settle once we get home. I'm planning to do the same as last night and place her in the cot and say good night and start the controlled crying. Is this ok? Will this change have a negative impact on the technique/ routine?

reply by onthevergemummy - 5 weeks ago

At Yasmin's age the solid food is more important than the breast milk so keep us posted on how much she is eating as well as drinking. Last night does however, prove that she does not need regular night feeds (just in case you didn't believe us). Your plan to extend the waking hour is fine as is the one for your late return home. Tonight may be even harder, but try and stay consistent as it will get easier after night 3 if you are.

reply by DT-Jenny - 5 weeks ago

Hi,
Thank you - yes last night was harder but still noticeable progress is being made. Yasmin settled relatively quickly when first put down (about 15 mins) but then woke at 12.20 and we did controlled crying technique until 01.30 when she settled. She woke again at 4.30am but settled within 10mins. We started the day at 6.15am. She is eating 3 solid meals a day and she is increasing the quantity and density of what she eats all the time. I'm ready to persevere again tonight. Thank you for all your support.

reply by onthevergemummy - 5 weeks ago

How did you get on?

reply by DT-emily - 5 weeks ago

Well I have good news to report! Night 5 and ... Yasmin slept through 11 hours from 7pm till 6am - she took less than 10 mins to settle to sleep and I feel amazing! Night 4 was hard because we were out late at a family function so it disrupted the routine slightly and she was teething horribly she was awake screaming from 1.50am until 3.30am and my husband did pick her up eventually and we put some bonjela on her gums she settled after that and went through until 6am (felt pretty horrible at the time). But last night was great!

So 5 nights without milk feeds and she's not missing it - she's feeding well in the morning and before bed (I'm still offering a split feed at bedtime to ensure she's awake going into her cot her daytime naps are improving - today she slept from 12.30 until 2.30 (settled herself) very rare indeed!

I hope things continue smoothly although I'm sure there will be hurdles as teething continues but I am so thankful for the book, support and the forum being there just at the right time when I was feeling incredibly low. Thank you so much.

I'll let you know how things continue....

reply by onthevergemummy - 4 weeks ago