Hi Lorna

I really feel for you. I hope someone replies soon with some help. I know how you feel our little girl was just the same. If you can afford it I would recommend the 1-2-1 consultation. We tried everything including PUPD and haven't slept for 21 months and I wish we'd gone for consultation sooner as it is really helping and well worth the small fee. One of the best aspects is having advice that is for both of you rather than you reading the book and telling your hubby how to do it and then him doing his own thing and getting nowhere.

Good luck

reply by sleepy5187 - 6 weeks ago

Go for pupd for the moment, do the pick up until he stops crying and then put him down - pick him up when he revs up again. It could take several hours the first few times that you do it, but the crying periods should start to get much shorter if you persist. With more information about the overall problem, we may be able to offer more help.

reply by Mentor-Wendy - 6 weeks ago

The overall problem is that Niko will only go down for a sleep (nap and bedtime) with his dummy - but when he has it, he's out like a light. Usually it's less than five minutes from first yawn to down in cot and falling asleep. This was fine until about a month ago when he began waking up in the middle of the night, and needed the dummy to get back to sleep. At first it was just once a night, then more and more often.

Last night he woke at midnight, 2:00 and 3:45 having gone to bed at 8:00pm, but the night before was awake on the hour every hour from 8-midnight, then again at 2 hourly intervals until his 4/5am feed (after which he sleeps well for 3-4 hours; he usually falls asleep at the end of this feed and sometimes wakes as he goes into his cot, sometimes not).

We tank him up before bedtime; he's always been a big feeder at night and will have both breasts plus 200+ mls of extra hungry baby formula. We don't dreamfeed as I honestly don't know where he'd put it. He always eats well at his early morning feed.

reply by lorna - 6 weeks ago

We got rid of my little girl's dummy when she was about 16 weeks through the help of this site. She screamed blue murder with pupdcd too. What worked for us (and also for others we have told through this site) is that instead of actually picking up and putting down for the pupd part, sit next to the cot stroking his head/hand on chest/shushing. Do this for the 20 min part then leave for the 10 min CD part. This worked so much better for my little girl as picking her up/putting her down all the time was driving her mad.

reply by DTGaynor - 6 weeks ago

Should I keep trying picking up during PUPD for now and see how he responds or switch straight over to comforting him in his cot? It's only been a few days and we're still in the first 3 days of getting rid of the dummy so that could be contributing to his distress.

If I'm comforting baby in his cot should I sit so he can't see me?

reply by lorna - 5 weeks ago

Hi, stick with the picking up and see how you go with it and then we can look at changing if need be.

reply by DT-emily - 5 weeks ago

Having done nine days now using PUPD/CD as settling method, I don't think it's the picking up that's the problem. Niko's getting upset before he even goes down in his cot - I walk into the room, close the curtains and start the sleep cues, and he starts to cry. Leave the room, and he's fine. Put him down in his cot, and he cries harder. It takes about 10 minutes of crying before he calms down and falls asleep - longer if it's the last nap of the day and then he even cries in his sleep.

Today I took him into his room and closed the curtains before realising I hadn't checked his nappy. I laid him down on the changing mat and he started sobbing (he's normally very happy on his mat).

It's so hard watching him fall asleep with tear tracks running down his cheeks. Do you have any suggestions what I can do so that he's not so unhappy about being put down for a nap? (He's not like this at bedtime, and I don't think it's over-tiredness as I've been watching him like a hawk for signs that he's sleepy while we're sleep training)

reply by lorna - 4 weeks ago

If he is only crying for 10 minutes, then that is actually quite normal (although very distressing for you). Some children need to offload before being able to fall asleep and this sounds like what Niko is doing. Stick with it for a few more days and lets see what happens.

reply by Mentor-Wendy - 4 weeks ago

He's doing so much better!

Yesterday Niko went down for nap #1 with minimal fuss and slept for 2 1/2 hours without needing me. Today he was asleep within 2 minutes (new record!) and although he woke up after 40 minutes he had put himself back to sleep again without input from me within 15 minutes and is still down.

We had to move him into his own room last week as my husband was suffering from a migraine, and once in there we didn't want to confuse him by moving his back again, and I think that set him back a bit, hence some of his distress. He's now been sleeping in there for five nights/days and I think he's got used to it now. He's certainly not crying as much.

Many many thanks for all your advice and support, this forum has literally changed my life! I'm sure I'll be back with more questions at some point but for now, thank you from a much happier baby and mummy!

reply by lorna - 3 weeks ago